You know those sticky name tags that say, "HELLO my name is…" and you're supposed to write your name underneath? Yeah, we've all been the unfortunate bearers of those lovelies at some point. It seems as though - as adults, especially - when we see those things, we inwardly groan. I'm not really sure what it is, but something about those name tags is quite unappealing.
Now, I want you to imagine for a moment that you are attending an event with friends and family and you are handed one of those name tags. Only this time, instead of displaying your name in the empty space below, it proclaims a character flaw of yours, as in…"HELLO my name is Needy." Or "HELLO my name is Mischievous." Or "HELLO my name is Overly Sensitive." Umm, no thanks! I think I'll be nameless today. I think we'd all rather be unnamed or unnoticed than to be labeled by our weaknesses or perceived character flaws.
The other day, as I was praying for my children, the Lord gave me this illustration. I say the Lord gave it to me because it truly came out of nowhere, and all of a sudden, there it was in my mind's eye. I saw myself with one of these ugly, sticky name tags, proclaiming a personal weakness - only the name tag wasn't on me, and it wasn't displaying my weakness. It was on my child, displaying his weakness; and what's worse, I had put it there for all the world to see. Oh! How my heart broke at this image in my mind's eye. And as I cried over what was obviously just an image in my mind, I was convicted of some actions that I'd taken that were essentially doing that very thing -- placing a label on my child, an ugly, embarrassing, public label proclaiming his weaknesses for all the world to see.
You see, that is what we do when we talk about our children's weaknesses with others. Oh, he's my shy one. Or She's my overly sensitive one. Or He's so mischievous. I know that when we say those things, we are not intending them harm. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW! I know because I ADORE my children, and I would never want to say anything that could hurt them or cause anyone else to think something ill of them. I'm not really sure why we do it. Maybe it's because we don't want people to think we think our children are perfect. Or maybe it's done as an excuse for some undesirable behavior our child has displayed. Or maybe it's because we want to be able to relate to someone else who is complaining about their child. Whatever the reason, I dare to say that it is NOT okay.
Yes, my children have weaknesses. (Don't we all!) They are far from perfect. I have one who is very sensitive and will cry at the seemingly littlest thing. He requires more attention than my others, but guess what... That very sensitive heart makes him so much more aware of others' pain and suffering. He is so caring and compassionate that I could see God using him in a mighty way to share God's love with the broken and the hurting people in this world. I have another who might be considered mischievous. He pushes the limits and gets into all sorts of debacles and does so with the sneakiest little smirk on his face (well, sometimes it's more like a snarl, but mostly it's a smirk). However, he is so curious and adventurous that I could see God taking him to some remote village in the jungle to share the gospel or using that determination and inquisitive mind to find the cure for cancer. My girly girl is just a baby. I have no idea what kind of "weaknesses" she'll have, but there are two things I know for sure…1) She will have them. 2) They can be used by God!
My new commitment to my children is to never use labels with a negative connotation when speaking of them. After all, I wouldn't want someone to label me by my weaknesses. I don't care if people think I believe my kids are perfect (something I've worried about in the past). I will only use words that uplift my children and encourage them. I don't care if people think I'm bragging about my children (another thing I've worried about). So, here's what my children's name tags might say...
- Shugi - "HELLO my name is caring, compassionate, kind, imaginative, intellectual."
- Taree - "HELLO my name is adventurous, inquisitive, curious, playful, determined."
- Princess - "HELLO my name is poops and sleeps a lot!" …She's only 3 months old, give me a break! ;)
God has given me these precious gifts to encourage and train and mold into the people HE created them to be. It's the toughest job on the planet, and I am absolutely certain it's the greatest blessing in the world! I cannot wait to get to heaven someday and see all the lives that were impacted by these little people God entrusted to me!
Lord, let it be so!
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