I'll Miss This

When you're in the parenting "trenches," it's so easy to get bogged down and distracted and downright discouraged with all the chores, diaper changes, midnight feedings, temper tantrums, etc. We hear those who've gone before us (the ones who survived it) say things like, "You're going to miss this." "One day, you'll wish you had a screaming baby to feed, a toddler to change, and a preschooler to discipline." I'm thinking, REALLY?!?! Ok, so I'm sure I really will miss it, but it's hard to believe right now. Tonight, though, as I was putting my children to bed - tired, frustrated, and on the verge of tears - I began thinking about how blessed I am and how I really am going to miss some of it...

I'll miss how Princess grabs ahold of my fingers when I put the paci in her mouth and falls asleep holding them tight.

I'll miss how Taree wraps his arms and legs around me like a koala bear when I pick him up for a hug.

I'll miss how Shugi runs to me asking for "extra hugs and kisses" after he gets out of bed to use the bathroom "one more time" every night.

I'll miss how Princess's face lights up when I come into view after she's been sitting in her carseat or bouncy seat for a while.

I'll miss how Taree says, "Ah-tay" for okay and "Boo Boo" for Peek-a-boo and "Vew vew" for love you and just about every other thing he says. I love toddler talk!

I'll miss how Shugi butts into our prayers to pray for something he wants to pray for, like today when he said, "And please help RaRa to get here safely in her car" when we were praying before his nap. RaRa was supposed to be coming over to play after naps and only lives 3.8 miles from our house.

I'll miss how Princess's breath smells. I love baby's breath!

I'll miss how Taree and Shugi laugh hysterically when I tickle them. 

I'll miss how Princess falls asleep in my arms.

I'll miss rocking Taree before bed.

I'll miss reading stories to Shugi and having him comment on or ask questions about every picture on every page.

I'll miss nursing Princess.

I'll miss Taree's "cheese!" face when we're taking his picture.

I'll miss Shugi's silly noises he makes when he's jumping around and being wild.

I'll miss Princess's baby noises - the gurgles and coos and the way her mouth opens, closes, and contorts to make each sound.

I'll miss seeing Taree walk around with his sippy cup of milk.

I'll miss hearing Shugi talk to his stuffed animals in different voices.

I'll miss the way Princess feels in my arms when I cradle her to nurse her or rock her.

I'll miss the way Taree feels against me when I rock him at night, with his head on my shoulder, his arms and legs draped loosely around me.

I'll miss the way Shugi feels when he's hurting or sad and wants "some loving from Mama" and sits in my lap with his legs off to the side and his head on my chest.

I'll miss how Princess snorts when she's about to start crying.

I'll miss how Taree says "Hi Mama!" excitedly at least 20 times a day as though I've just gotten home, even though I've been with him the whole time.

I'll miss how Shugi talks about how "blessed" we are to have a big family or a nice, sturdy home or a dog named Maverick.

I'll miss the way Princess sometimes sticks out her tongue when she grins.

I'll miss the way Taree loves to dance.

I'll miss the way Shugi lets me pick him up out of his bed in the morning and after naps and lets me carry him to the living room and lays his head on my shoulder even as his long arms and legs dangle on either side of my body and I struggle to carry the weight of his limp, barely awake body.

 

Yes, indeed, I'm going to miss this and more. Can time just stop for a moment, please?! I think tomorrow I'll be a little more thankful for the dirty diapers, the snotty noses, and even the temper tantrums if I can just have a little more of the things I listed above.

HELLO, My Name Is...

You know those sticky name tags that say, "HELLO my name is…" and you're supposed to write your name underneath? Yeah, we've all been the unfortunate bearers of those lovelies at some point. It seems as though - as adults, especially - when we see those things, we inwardly groan. I'm not really sure what it is, but something about those name tags is quite unappealing.

 

Now, I want you to imagine for a moment that you are attending an event with friends and family and you are handed one of those name tags. Only this time, instead of displaying your name in the empty space below, it proclaims a character flaw of yours, as in…"HELLO my name is Needy." Or "HELLO my name is Mischievous." Or "HELLO my name is Overly Sensitive." Umm, no thanks! I think I'll be nameless today. I think we'd all rather be unnamed or unnoticed than to be labeled by our weaknesses or perceived character flaws. 

 

The other day, as I was praying for my children, the Lord gave me this illustration. I say the Lord gave it to me because it truly came out of nowhere, and all of a sudden, there it was in my mind's eye. I saw myself with one of these ugly, sticky name tags, proclaiming a personal weakness - only the name tag wasn't on me, and it wasn't displaying my weakness. It was on my child, displaying his weakness; and what's worse, I had put it there for all the world to see. Oh! How my heart broke at this image in my mind's eye. And as I cried over what was obviously just an image in my mind, I was convicted of some actions that I'd taken that were essentially doing that very thing -- placing a label on my child, an ugly, embarrassing, public label proclaiming his weaknesses for all the world to see.

 

You see, that is what we do when we talk about our children's weaknesses with others. Oh, he's my shy one. Or She's my overly sensitive one. Or He's so mischievous. I know that when we say those things, we are not intending them harm. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW! I know because I ADORE my children, and I would never want to say anything that could hurt them or cause anyone else to think something ill of them. I'm not really sure why we do it. Maybe it's because we don't want people to think we think our children are perfect. Or maybe it's done as an excuse for some undesirable behavior our child has displayed. Or maybe it's because we want to be able to relate to someone else who is complaining about their child. Whatever the reason, I dare to say that it is NOT okay. 

 

Yes, my children have weaknesses. (Don't we all!) They are far from perfect. I have one who is very sensitive and will cry at the seemingly littlest thing. He requires more attention than my others, but guess what... That very sensitive heart makes him so much more aware of others' pain and suffering. He is so caring and compassionate that I could see God using him in a mighty way to share God's love with the broken and the hurting people in this world. I have another who might be considered mischievous. He pushes the limits and gets into all sorts of debacles and does so with the sneakiest little smirk on his face (well, sometimes it's more like a snarl, but mostly it's a smirk). However, he is so curious and adventurous that I could see God taking him to some remote village in the jungle to share the gospel or using that determination and inquisitive mind to find the cure for cancer. My girly girl is just a baby. I have no idea what kind of "weaknesses" she'll have, but there are two things I know for sure…1) She will have them. 2) They can be used by God!

 

My new commitment to my children is to never use labels with a negative connotation when speaking of them. After all, I wouldn't want someone to label me by my weaknesses. I don't care if people think I believe my kids are perfect (something I've worried about in the past). I will only use words that uplift my children and encourage them. I don't care if people think I'm bragging about my children (another thing I've worried about). So, here's what my children's name tags might say...

• Shugi - "HELLO my name is caring, compassionate, kind, imaginative, intellectual."

• Taree - "HELLO my name is adventurous, inquisitive, curious, playful, determined." 

• Princess - "HELLO my name is poops and sleeps a lot!" …She's only 3 months old, give me a break! ;)

 

God has given me these precious gifts to encourage and train and mold into the people HE created them to be. It's the toughest job on the planet, and I am absolutely certain it's the greatest blessing in the world! I cannot wait to get to heaven someday and see all the lives that were impacted by these little people God entrusted to me! 

 

Lord, let it be so!

 

URGENT!!!

Ahhh! There's so much to say and so little time to say it. God has been teaching me and convicting me of sooo many things lately. My heart is so full with all that I'm learning, and I'm so desperate to share it with all of you. But I've barely had time to process it all for myself, let alone sit down and blog about it.  There is one thing, however, that I feel I MUST SHARE without delay. It's so URGENT and crucial that I truly feel I can't wait any longer. 

 

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" (Matthew 7:21-23)

 

Jesus spoke these words to people who were closely associated with Him. I've read that verse scores of times. I've heard numerous sermons preached on it. I've heard pastors and ministers say time and time again that it is one of the scariest verses in the Bible. But I never really "got it" until a few weeks ago. Prior to that time, I always interpreted those verses to mean that there were people out there going through the motions, pretending to be Christians, but who really knew that they were not. They were just doing it to fool everyone else, but they knew the truth in their hearts, which really didn't cause me too much concern. I mean, after all, they've made their choice. They know what they are "supposed" to do but instead of really doing it, they're choosing to fool other into believing that they've "done" it. Right? But, what if I'm wrong? WHAT IF THEY DON'T KNOW?!?

 

My heart just skipped a beat. That's a game changer! I had never considered before that these "evildoers" Jesus mentions in Matthew might actually NOT KNOW that they are wrong. God opened my eyes to the reality of this verse a few weeks ago. God put this passage in front of me 3 different times, from 3 different sources in less than 24 hours. He was trying to tell me something, for sure. Our adult Sunday school teacher read the verses above on Sunday morning and quoted words from a song that talked about someone having a dream about heaven and seeing their family there but not being allowed in themselves. Then, that evening, during our discipleship class, which I just happened to stumble into without a second thought, the video we were watching referenced these verses as well, bringing it back to the forefront of my mind. The next morning, I started reading Follow Me by David Platt. Right there in chapter 1, there it was again. Only this time, his commentary caught me off guard.

We are all prone to spiritual deception -- every single one of us. When Jesus says these words in Matthew 7, He's not talking about irreligious atheists, agnostics, pagans, and heretics. He's talking about good, religious people -- men and women associated with Jesus who ASSUME that their eternity is safe and will one day be SHOCKED to find that it is not. (Follow Me, David Platt, pg. 8, emphasis mine)

Wow! You mean there will be people that stand before Jesus who will be shocked that they aren't allowed into heaven? What about my fellow church members? My friends? My family??? How very scary! Upon reading these words, I wanted to throw down my book, run out my front door, and SHOUT at everyone, "You could be going to hell!!!" I'm not sure that would have been completely effective; so thankfully, God reigned in my impulsiveness. But the urgency I felt in my heart that morning has not diminished. Rather, it has increased. I am committed to making sure that the people I know and love (and those I barely know and those I meet in the future) KNOW what it means to be a Christian and how to be certain of their destination after death.

 

So, how can you know with certainty? What does it really mean to be a Christian? After all, thousands upon thousands of Americans claim to be Christians, yet most of them look and act just like everyone else. I'll get into this more in depth in some future posts, but for now, let me just give you a simple answer...

 

Simply put, being a Christian means being a follower of Jesus. It's about making a decision to follow Jesus and doing it. It's not saying some magic prayer and then breathing a sigh of relief that you're saved from hell then going on about your business as usual. Jesus didn't call his disciples by saying, "Pray this prayer!" He said, "Follow me!" When Nicodemus asked how he could enter heaven, Jesus said he must be "Born again," meaning he starts a new life. The Bible tells us the road is narrow that leads to life. So why is it that there are so many who claim Christianity? It must be that there is some misconception, some deception. Let me be clear about this - there is NOTHING you can do to earn God's grace. Grace by definition is something we do not deserve. Salvation and forgiveness from sins is only through God's grace and all we have to do is accept it. It is a free gift, there for the taking. However, being a Christian is about so much more than just saying,  "Yeah, I want that! Sign me up! Whoo Hoo! I'm going to heaven!" It's about GIVING YOUR LIFE TO JESUS.

 

Being a Christian means being a disciple, a follower. Being a disciple is HARD! It involves total surrender. It means laying down your plans for your life in lieu of Jesus plans. It means rearranging your priorities to line up with His. It may even mean losing your life. But hear this: It. Is. So. Worth. It. When you know Jesus, you don't care what it costs. You want to follow Him.

 

So, how can you know if your eternity is secure? How can you be sure that when you face Jesus (and you WILL face Him one day), that He will not say to you, "I never knew you"?

• Have you made a decision to truly follow Jesus? If not, do it now! Don't delay! Comment below with your name and email or phone number, and I personally will call you!
• When you made that decision, was there a change in your life? A change in direction? A change of attitude? A change of heart? You may not have been a lying, cheating, fornicating drug dealer. Maybe you were. But regardless, was there a change? When you give your life to Jesus, there will be a change.
• Do you want to do the things that please God? I don't care if you read your Bible, pray, go to church, tell others about Jesus. The real question is…DO YOU WANT TO? Churches are full of people who are just going through the motions. They do all the right things, and they'll do them until the day they die. Then, they'll hear Jesus say, "Depart from me. I never knew you." Doing those things doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car. It's why you do those things that is a better indicator of whether or not you are a Christian. I read my Bible because I want to know Jesus more. I pray because I love Him and want to talk to Him and hear from Him. I go to church because I want to worship Him with other believers. I tell others about Him because I know He loves them and I want them to know that. I don't do these things because I'm supposed to. I do them because I want to.
• Does sin break your heart? Christians still sin. I lose my temper. I say things I shouldn't. I am judgmental. I am prideful. Christians sin just like the rest of the world. The difference is that when we do, we are truly broken over it. We love Jesus so much (because He loves us so much) that we never want to do anything that would hurt Him. We don't want to sin. We struggle over sins that we used to delight in. We are daily being made more like Jesus as we recognize our sin and allow Him to forgive us and change us.

So, that's it. That's what has been so urgently on my heart for weeks, and now, I've shared it with you. What will you do with it? I'll be praying for those of you reading this.

Grumbling in My Promise Land

The Israelites were God's chosen people. The Lord performed miracle after miracle for them. He promised to deliver them from slavery in Egypt. When Pharaoh didn't want to let them go, the Israelites witnessed the 10 plagues, which finally convinced Pharaoh to let them leave. With the final plague, they witnessed the Passover, whereby the Angel of Death killed all the Egyptian firstborn but "passed over" the Israelite firstborn. They witnessed the Red Sea open up before them when they were fleeing from Pharaoh's army (after Pharaoh changed his mind about letting them go), and they walked through the sea on dry ground with walls of water on either side of them. Then, when Pharaoh's army pursued them, they saw God let the waters go, drowning all of the Egyptian army. Just three days later, when they were thirsty and grumbled because the water at Marah was bitter, they saw God make it sweet - simply by having Moses throw a stick in the water. Then, days later, as they were walking in the desert, they began to grumble again because they were hungry. God sent them bread from heaven in the mornings and quail in the evenings.

 

If anyone had reason to praise the Lord and thank Him for His many blessings and NOT grumble, it was the Israelites. Seriously, bread from HEAVEN?? (I wonder if it tasted anything like a homemade yeast roll…Mmmm!) But, would you believe that just a short while later, they started grumbling again!?! They were thirsty...again. Seriously!?! What is with these people??? I remember hearing these stories for the first time when I was in junior high school and thinking, "If I had been an Israelite, I would not have been like that! I would have praised God! How could they be so dense?" Wellllll, fast forward 15 years or so, and here I am…a modern-day, American Israelite. The only difference is, I'm not grumbling while I wander in the desert. I'm grumbling right here in my very own Promised Land. I guess our real Promised Land is Heaven, but my life here in my little house with my little family is so full of blessings that it looks a lot more like a promised land than a desert. Anyway, my point is, I'm grumbling even after all the Lord has done for me, and often I grumble ABOUT the things the Lord has done for me.

 

"Ugh! I'm so sick of sweeping under this high chair! I, seriously, sweep under here 3 times a day, and it's still the messiest place in our house."  

Instead of... "Thank You, God, that I have a child to sit in this high chair and make this mess. Thank You that I have a home with floors to sweep when some have no home or dirt floors. Thank You that I got to choose my floors and could choose a tile that doesn't show dirt so that the mess is not so noticeable. Thank You that my children do not have to go hungry - that we have food to eat, so much food that we don't even miss the bits that fall to the floor uneaten. Thank You that I have a healthy child who is developing appropriately can (mostly) feed himself; some are not so fortunate. Thank You that I have the physical ability to sweep my floors when there are others who can't and would love to. Thank You for the privilege of caring for my family."

 

"I hate laundry! Why do we have soooooo much laundry?!?"

Instead of... "Lord, thank You that I have a big family to make all this dirty laundry. Thank You for my children who are healthy and can play and get dirty. Thank You that we have enough clothes that we can go days or even weeks without doing laundry when so many have only the clothes on their backs. Thank You that we have a washing machine and dryer to do our clothes. I don't have to wash them in a stream or in a wash tub like people in other parts of the world. Thank You that I have a wonderful husband who helps with the laundry and doesn't complain about it like I do. Thank You for the chore of laundry, as doing something I do not enjoy for my family teaches me to be less self-entitled and gives me an opportunity to tangibly put my families needs above my own desires, making me more like You."

 

"I'm so tired! Why is she waking up, again? I was just in there with her an hour ago. Will I ever sleep through the night again???"

Instead of... "Thank You, Lord, that I have this precious baby waking me up at night. Thank You that I have the privilege of breastfeeding, even if it causes her to wake up more often (more easily digested than formula). Thank You that she is healthy, eating well, and growing well. Thank You that I have a big comfortable bed that makes it hard to get up during the night. Thank You that I have a husband to share this bed with who will be here waiting for me when I get back in the bed. Thank You that I sleep so soundly because I feel safe in our home. Thank You that my baby girl goes back to sleep and sleeps for hours between feedings because she also feels safe and is well-fed, unlike so many precious children in this world. Thank You for sleepless nights as they help me to rely on You for my strength and energy, strengthening my trust in You."

 

When I stop to think of all I have to be thankful for, I feel so spoiled for grumbling. I'm so thankful for our Bible study/Sunday school teacher who pointed this out to us a few weeks ago. My prayer is that I will stop every "grumbly" thought before it takes root in my mind and replace it with thanksgiving. Who knows, maybe one day, my natural instinct will be thanksgiving rather than grumbling.

 

"Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20 (emphasis mine)

 

Cast of Characters

Hi there! Welcome to Disciple Mom! I'm so glad you're here. Before we go any further, I thought you should meet my family since they will be the main cast of characters for most of the stories you'll find here.

ME (Nicole)

First, let me introduce myself. I'm Nicole, and I'll be the primary author for all the posts you'll read. We may have a guest writer from time to time, but for the most part, you got me! Nice to meet you! :) I'm a wife and mommy and a follower of Jesus. I'm not perfect - FAR from it. I hope in reading this blog, you'll see that. My goal is to be real and transparent in everything I post. I promise I will not try to appear perfect in an effort to impress you, but I will also not hold back in bragging on God and all that HE'S done in my life. A little about me…I LOVE Jesus! He's my best friend. My second best friend is my hubby. You'll meet him in a minute. He's my high school sweetheart, and I've loved him since I was 14. I am a stay-at-home mom to three beautiful children, whom you'll also meet soon; and I love almost every minute of it. :) I've wanted to be a stay-at-home as long as I can remember, and it's more difficult and more wonderful than I ever imagined. I'm a redeemed perfectionist, meaning I have a tendency toward perfectionism but I'm learning to cut myself some slack because of God's grace. I'm learning to allow Him to set the standard, not me. In my spare time (hahaha), I enjoy organizing, party planning, blogging, and catching up with friends.

HUBBY/DAD

This good-looking man is my hubby and the daddy of my 3 beautiful kiddos. He is kindest, most patient man I know. He is truly my best friend. I tell him all the time that he's "my favorite." He's silly, but he doesn't show that side of him to just anyone. He's pretty laid back and easy-going. He's the calm to my chaos. He is an amazing father. When he's home, you won't find him sitting in front of the TV; you'll find him wrestling with the boys or bathing our little princess or doing the dishes or anything else he thinks will bless his family. He is a sports fan and enjoys playing golf when he can get away.

SHUGI

This handsome boy is our first-born. When he was a baby, I called him Sugar Booger or Sugar. Somewhere along the way, it evolved into Shugi. He turned three in July. The picture above was taken almost a year ago, but I love it because I can just see his sweet little spirit in his eyes and his grin. He is my tender-hearted, lovable boy. He's acutely empathetic and compassionate, recognizing and responding to others' emotions in ways that often surprise us. He is 50% silly and 50% serious. He is very friendly and kind. He has quite the imagination; and while he does love playing in the dirt and swinging on his swing set, he would often rather be inside using his imagination. He loves reading and playing with his stuffed animals.

TAREE

This precious darling is our baby boy, our middle child. He got his nickname from his brother. When Taree was born, Shugi was only 22 months old and couldn't pronounce his name. So, he called him Taree, and it stuck! Taree is our lively, adventurous one. He is curious and observant, passionate and independent. He is so playful and makes us laugh everyday. Whether digging in the dirt, playing in the water hose, or just walking around the back yard, he loves being outside. He also loves to dance and takes great delight in having his family dance around the playroom with him.

PRINCESS

This little beauty is our baby girl. She was born in July, and we are all head over heels for her. Her brothers are two of her biggest admirers. She really is the Princess in our house.  She is a peaceful, happy baby with the sweetest little smile. She has just started really smiling readily, and it melts my heart. Compared to my boys at this age, she seems so dainty and girly. I can't wait to watch her personality develop and her interests emerge, as she grows into the young lady God created her to be.

So, that's it. That's our crew. I hope you'll come back and visit us often. We have lots to share with you! :)